Dave Sez

The Road From Bristol

Sometimes the web gives us those annoying Punch The Monkey popups and sometimes it gives us the amazing Mahir (I kiss you!). The Road From Bristol is Mahir-quality; exactly the kind of quirky brilliance that Al Gore had in mind when he invented these here Internets.

The Road From Bristol is a 64-man tournament to find the most annoying ESPN personality. A very difficult task, but a beautiful way to accomplish it. Unfortunately, the site's a bit difficult to follow as it is in blog form, but poke around a bit and you can get the jist. The full bracket is here. Notice the clever names of the regionals - Duke, Lakers, Cowboys and Yankees - Red Sox.

I could talk about the seedings and matchups here for hours, but I'll stick with just my Final Four plus a few sleepers.

I like Skip Bayless to come out of the Duke regional. Sure Dick Vitale has the greatest annoyance potential of anyone in the bracket, but he does sometimes actually have real information and he also seems to like what he does. Bayless is annoying and worthless. Tough combo.

The Cowboys Regional is fairly weak, so I think Chris Berman will walk to the Final Four. His main competition is Sean Salisbury, but he gets him early and I think Berman will take him out. Remember when Berman was considered clever?

The two bottom brackets are both completely loaded. I mean, you have Screamin' A Smith, Jim Rome, Paul Maguire, Bill Walton and Michael Irvin all in one bracket (Lakers)? And what about Stuart Scott, Jim Grey, Joe Theismann, Woody Paige and Jason Whitlock all in the Yankees - Red Sox Regional? Man.

I'm gonna go with Michael Irvin out of the Lakers bracket. I actually don't hate SAS as much as many people. Yes, he yells like Irvin does, but at least he has something to say. Jim Rome would win in a walk if he was more of an ESPN guy. I think of him as a radio personality first.

As bad as Grey and Theismann are, Stuart Scott will easily breeze through the Y-RS Regional.

Look for Scott and Bayless to meet in the finals. I'd have Bayless win, but I bet Scott takes the "title."

Hat tip to the Sports Frog for the find.

Jayhawk Skeletons

By now you've heard about Roy Williams' involvement in some NCAA violations at Kansas. It seems that while he was coach, a few boosters gave a number of players small graduation gifts. Actually, "end of eligibility" gifts might be better, because I don't think all the players had graduated.

Some of those involved say that Williams knew of the gifts, but he thought they were OK. There are conflicting reports about whether and when he checked with compliance officers at Kansas.

Either way, it's seems like a pretty minor deal. I mean, do you really think that Kansas is using these gifts as lures to recruits? Hey man, come play for the Jay Hawks and if you stay four years, you'll get a suit or a check for $300! What do you say, son?

The other odd thing about this is the discovery (well, it's a discovery for me and apparently Roy Williams) that players are ineligible to receive gifts forever. Forever! That's insane. According to NCAA guidelines, it's illegal for an NC State booster club to hire David Thompson to speak at a meeting. Want to vote for Richard Vinroot because he played ball for Dean Smith? Better not be a Carolina fan or you could put the school in hot water!

So, obviously this is a tempest in a teapot. Nothing major happened and no advantage was gained. Where it's potentially a bit more serious is that many times corrupt programs are not found to have committed serious violations (even though everyone knows they happen). Instead, they are often taken down by a serious of minor infractions that add up to a "lack of institutional control." This is basically how the NCAA nailed the Eddie Sutton-led Kentucky program and the Jim Valvano-led NC State program. No big stuff like envelopes filled with cash or thrown games, but niggling infractions like selling sneakers.

So, are these gifts indications that Kansas is corrupt? What about Roy? I say no on both counts. Kansas has had their problems in the past. Roy Williams took over the program after Larry Brown packed up his gypsy tents and left a probation in his wake. Since then though, things have been nearly spot free. Williams has built a reputation as a guy who is very serious about doing things the right way and not taking any shortcuts. In this interview with Eric Chenowith, a guy who didn't always get along with Roy, he says:

I was never offered a cent in my four years — ever. I don’t know if it was people hating me or alums wanting to play by the rules.

I remember times Jeff Carey (teammate) and I would go to breakfast and somebody would try to buy it for us. Jeff and I would refuse to the point it was almost embarrassing to refuse.

We’d say, ‘We can’t. It’s not right.’ I can’t imagine ever breaking a rule playing for coach Williams. I would never accept anything. I was scared to death of coach Williams in a situation like that.

And then there's this quote from Nick Collison's mom, "Coach Williams was always careful. When we came, we had to pay for snacks."

It just doesn't sound to me like there's anything there.

But ... on the flip side it should be pointed out that Kansas and Williams were involved with both Jaron Rush (and Myron Piggie) and Lester Earl. Rush, who was being paid by Piggie (along with some other players, including Corey Maggette), verbally committed to Kansas. Williams pulled the scholarship offer after Rush criticized his coaching style in a radio interview. Earl ended up at Kansas after getting involved in some shenanigans at LSU, including accepting cash payments. He later got into legal trouble at Kansas (and was arrested again just last month).

Neither of those incidents directly involved Kansas, but in each case, Williams courted players who had clearly been involved in some shady dealings just before going (or not in Rush's case) to Lawrence.

In the end, it all adds up to very little. Williams was involved in some minor infractions that were reasonable misunderstandings. They happened at a different institution. While the story will surely provide some fodder for Duke chants and has given State fans a reason to trot out their insecurities again, it shouldn't have any legs.

Jason Is Back (Nearly)

The News & Observer has a great piece today (well, it's actually an AP article) about Jason Williams and his recovery. Evidently, he's nearly back to full strength and believes that he will be on an NBA roster next season.

I hope so.

Jason Williams made a very dumb mistake. He was an idiot to ride a motorcycle at all, much less without much training or even a helmet. The thing is, he knows it was a mistake. It wasn't indicitive of the life he'd lead to that point and he hasn't let it define him. You never hear him blame anyone else for the accident or imply that anyone owes him a second chance.

Instead, he's worked his ass off to get back, while at the same time being realistic and asking questions like "should I go back to school?" (I guess he's asking about grad school, because he already graduated from Duke. That he's talking about getting a graduate degree should be all you need to know about how he's different than most NBA players.)

It's hard not to root for him to come back. If his former running mate Chris Duhon can make it in the League, then there's no question that Williams belongs.

I'm Back

You may have noticed that Dave Sez was off in Never Never Land for the past couple of days. Sorry about that. If you didn't notice, well, you should have!

Anyway, it seems that the cable service on my whole street got knocked out by a particularly violent storm the other night. Man, that was something. Lightning and loud claps of thunder nonstop for about an hour or so. It sounded like Lakista McCuller and Jackie Manual were having a three-point shooting contest on a tin roof. Bang. Clang. Crash!

So, I'm back now and ready to catch up on some of the news I've meant to post about. Or not.

Intimidating Tiger

Like the rest of us, Chris Chase has been thinking about Tiger. Unlike the rest of us though, he hasn't just been watching in awe. No sir, Chris has been hatching a plan. A plan to intimidate Tiger Woods.

I'm not really sure if it would work or not - it would probably result in a six stroke loss by whoever tried it, but still.

If the idea of getting in Tiger's head isn't intriguing, read Chris' piece anyway, if only for his last bit on British trash talking. Great stuff that made me laugh out loud.

Confidence Man

In case you haven't picked up on it, Lou Holtz is a snake.

He's left just about every program he coached in trouble. NCAA investigations follow him as surely and closely as a trailer behind a pickup.

His career is surely over now, but that doesn't mean we should just let bygones by bygones. As Ron Morris wrote in that article, Holtz is a con man, convincing fans, media and athletic directors that he is a man of principle and integrity - an old school guy. Instead, he's a cheat and a lier. It's a shame that there's no way to punish him directly.

Finger Licking Good

Unlike the guys at 850 The Buzz, I don't think this pic is terribly scandalous, but it is pretty damn funny.

He looks a bit drunk, but I think that's just bad timing on the photographer. It does look like he's in a college dorm or apartment though, which is odd.

Wanna guess what he's saying?
"Hey ladies, you know I like the dark meat."

"Mmm, nice thighs."

"I'm NOT THE OTHER WILLIAMS! $#(*&$#*(&@@!!!"

"I eat more chicken any man ever seen."

OK, that's enough. I have more, but I'll leave some of the easy pickins for you folks. Add 'em to the comments.

It looks like the pic came from here. You can see a much bigger version there as well.

ESPN Hires Ombudsman

Well, ain't this something. ESPN has hired themselves an ombudsman.

What's that you say? You have no idea what that is? Go ahead then and look it up (I know I did). I'll wait a sec.

OK, now you know. An ombudsman serves to hear complaints from the people. Complaints from us.

Poor guy. George Soloman has been around a while, serving as the editor of the Washington Post's sports section for nearly 30 years, but he's probably not quite ready for this. The network needs help. There is plenty to complain about.

Back in the day, ESPN was much less polished and showed stuff like Australian rules football and snooker between repeats of last night's WAC basketball games. But while they may not have been big time, they understood that their focus was sports. Nowadays, they take the "E" part of their name a bit too seriously. They try to be entertaining and worse, cool. Well, they aren't cool. They can't be. Not anymore. They are part of the machine and the machine is never cool.

ESPN also has had an unfortunate tendency to learn from Fox News and CNN in their reporting. They tend toward the sensational, happily beating a dead, unimporant horse if that horse is young and blonde. At the same time, they might ignore and more important, but less sexy story.

So, I have high hopes. Any constructive criticism can help. All of us sports fans have become so addicted to ESPN that no matter how much it sucks or how many hours a day Stuart Scott appears, we'll watch. Solomon (good name for his job, huh?) earned my trust in this article, when he pointed out the network's tireless replays of Kenny Rogers' outburst and the infamous Detroit-Indiana brawl.

Keep it up man. And if I may make a suggestion - a little less Scott would be good for everyone.

Hat Map

Paulwesterdawg (cool blog name) has nice map using helmets to show the location of every Division 1 football program. It's interesting to see the large clusters and gaps.

Check that clump in Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, northern Kentucky and West Virginia.

In contrast, there are no helmets from southern Wyoming through the Dakotas, western Nebraska and Montana. A huge gap.

It also makes it easy to see where there's allegedly an "East Coast bias." Look at the number of helmets to the right of dead center versus those on the left.

Once again, I tip my helmet to FanBlogs.com for the find.

Go Orange Blossoms!

The New Orleans Times-Pacayune had a nice article over the weekend about the source of many college nicknames.

One that stood out was Miami's original name of the Orange Blossoms. Think they would have won as many titles with that name?

Another one I'd heard as a derisive nickname, but didn't realize it really was their name at one point is the Nebraska Bugeaters. Anyone have an explanation as to why that was their name?

Thanks to FanBlogs.com for the find.

Lame Disease

When Florida State quarterback Wyatt Sexton went nuts in streets of Tallahassee, I thought it was a funny story. Pretty clearly, the dude was whacked out on some 'shrooms or acid and developed himself a God complex (and a son-of-God complex as well). The one nagging thought that kept me from being too flippant about the whole thing was the possibility that the kid had developed some schizophrenia. College is a common age for that sort of thing and having seen a guy in college flip out from that (well, that and copious amounts of weed), I'm a bit sensitive. Athletes getting stupid on drugs is funny. Going crazy - not so much.

Well, the good folks at FSU made it very clear that drugs were not Sexton's problem, that it was something medical. So I assumed it was mental illness and left it alone.

Then last week they announced that Sexton's wild, shirtless romp through the night was caused not by LSD or funky fungus, but by Lyme Disease. Lyme Disease! That's great. No worries that no reputable description of the disease mentions anything about causing craziness. Instead, they trotted out a self-proclaimed expert on the disease, a general practitioner named Dr. S. Chandra Swami who said that Sexton was suffering from "neuropsychiatric deficits" from the disease. BTW, Swami has apparently never published any peer-reviewed papers on his research on Lyme disease.

The really interesting thing about this is that it now turns out that infectious diseases have been discovered to be the cause of previous FSU QB wackiness. Chris Rix, the good Christian soldier who liked to park in handicap spots, alienate teammates and skip exams? He wasn't just a colossal hypocrite, he had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

Dan "Mr Wizard" Kendra? When he blew himself up first with steroids and then his home chemistry set, that was due to a previously unnoticed case of Avian Flu.

Remarkably, medical researchers have explained some other, more notable cases of odd behavior. If you've seen "Helter Skelter," you may believe that insanity and large amounts of psychedelic drugs drove Charles Manson to lead his followers to murder. You'd be wrong. Nope, it was actually the direct result of Gingivitis.

Sirhan Sirhan? Measles.

Pol Pot? Diverticulitis

It all just makes so much more sense now.

Opposites

Sesame Street used Grover to teach the concepts of opposites. "This is near and ... this ... is far."

Highlights For Kids had Goofus and Gallant.

Dave Sez has the 2005 recruiting classes of Duke and Virginia.

Duke has the undisputed #1 class in the nation, led by #1 player Josh McRoberts and top point guard Greg Paulus (who was also the #1 high school quarterback in the country).

Virginia has three guys coming in. One of them averaged - if for some reason you are standing at your computer, take a seat - 6.7 points and 3.7 rebounds per game last year. In fairness though, he was playing a tough suburban Denver league.

Dave Leitao will have to earn his money for a few years in his new job.

Heir Jordan

Evidently little Michael Jeffrey Jordan has all growns up. Or - he hopes - has nearly done so. Little Michael Jr. is now 16 years old and is currently at the prestigious Nike summer hoops camp for top prospects.

Unfortunately for Mike Jr., he's not 6'6" like his dad - he's 6'0". Big difference. The thing is, even if he were an exact clone of his dad, odds are great that he'd still never approach his father's success. Michael the elder was one of those rare combinations of talent, desire and circumstance. You can't just repeat that.

Instead, the poor kid has to live with all of the expectations, but only most of the talent (and height).

BTW, sorry about the title of this piece. There's no excuse for that. My bad. Won't happen again.

Monster In The Gulf

This hurricane is terrifying.

To anyone who is in its direct path - I wish you the best. I can't even imagine what it would be like to ride out a Category 5 storm. I also can't imagine what will happen to New Orleans if it really gets the 28 foot storm surge they say is possible.

Be safe and be lucky.

Tip Talk

Ken Pomeroy is the man when it comes to college basketball statistics. There's no one else even close. He looks at angles that nobody else has thought of and produces numbers that let you see the game in a new light.

With this being the offseason, Ken is obviously a bit bored. So, he's shining that new light in some obscure places, like at at the value of winning the opening tip.

The premise is a bit silly, but it's fun nonetheless. And actually, since what he's really looking at is the value of one extra possession, there is real value to what he discovered. He boils it down to showing that one extra possession in a game against evenly matched teams provides that team with a 3-5% increase in their chance to win. Not too insignificant!

ACC Notes

Once again, I've been a bit busy and haven't posted on several interesting things from the past week. So, instead of being completely negligent, I'll just drop a few quickie thoughts into one post. How's that for ya?

An Even Dozen
You probably saw the news. Last week, on July 1st to be exact, Boston College officially became a member of the ACC, pounding the final nail ... er ... completing expansion.

The friendly chaps over at StateFans Nation, compiled a nice little list of links to all things Boston College for those of you who want to bone up on the Eagles.

I can't wait to see what our friends from Beantown can add to our little conference.

NBA Draft
Perhaps you missed the stories, but apparently, a few ACC players were selected in last week's NBA Draft, including four Tar Heels in the top 14. There's not too much to say about most of the picks that hasn't been said a zillion times elsewhere, so I won't try. Mostly.

I did find it amusing to read what Minnesotans thought about their pick of Rashad McCants with the fourteenth selection. Cliff's notes version - the phrase "with my head in my hands" comes up in the article.

I was more than a little surprised to see that Von Wafer had actually been drafted. I guess it's a good thing that FSU doesn't get on TV too often. Or maybe the Lakers just felt that they could use another athletic, moody, inconsistent, no-defense shooting guard. Who couldn't?

The one undrafted player that got the most attention was Shavlik Randolph, even though no sane person thought his name would get called. My article on him putting his name into the CBA draft received nearly 1,000 hits in the past week from people searching his name. I haven't had a topic get that hot since I wrote about those hot, young, naked, Mexican, midget cheerleaders.

In the comments on that article, one anonymous poster made some nice remarks about how Randolph was right to leave Duke and that he had done well in his individual workouts with NBA teams. While I believe that to be true - after all, Randolph is widely known to be a guy who likes to work out on his own and eschews pickup ball - I doubt too many GMs outside of New York would fall for that ruse. First off, Duke is on TV so much that any basketball guy is bound to have come across their games and will have seen Randolph in real action. While those guys love players who show skill in those individual workouts, they will eventually discover that the guy scored about 6 points per game in his three years at Duke.

Like I said before, he seems like a good kid and I hope he finally gets his game together and realizes his potential. But that ain't going to happen in the NBA, and frankly probably not anywhere on this continent.

Nice Transfer
Florida State landed transfer Toney Douglas from Auburn. Very nice pickup for Leonard Hamilton, who's making quite a habit of taking players from other programs.

Evidently, Douglas clashed with Tiger coach Jeff Lebo over becoming a point guard. Douglas is a very talented shooting guard, but clearly he thinks his only shot at the NBA is as a point guard. I'll trust Lebo's opinion in the matter, but it's a good gamble for Hamilton to take that he can keep Douglas happy. The kid can flat out score. He hit for 38 in just his third college game, against Nicholls State, and he put up 33 against Virginia in a narrow loss. He reminded me a bit of LSU great Chris Jackson in that UVA game, although he obviously tailed off a bit later in the year.